bright 'n' tight

[Title] fabulous disposition: queer life, love and drama in this prairie town
[Deck] bright ‘n’ tight
[Byline] by sean manson

For those of us who look better with more clothes on, fall and winter are the times to shine as far as fashion is concerned. I always rejoice when I can buff up with extra layers instead of thinking for hours about going to a gym. In the spirit of the stylish season, I accepted an invite to attend a good friend’s “Bright ‘n’ Tight” party. The invitation specified that unless you were wearing items from the implicit dress code, you would not be allowed through the door. Seeing as how my shirts seem to get tighter every year, I foresaw no problem with the request.

As I arrived at the party I was blinded by an influx of neon bodysuits, pastel leg warmers, and sequin pullovers. Quite suddenly it became readily apparent that my outfit was lacking more than just luster. To my shock and awe, my token-mo status at the party had been revoked simply by the fact that I didn’t look like an eighties gay bar. Feeling like the only gay in a flamingly heterosexual village I stopped to think, how much does a person’s style actually reflect their sexual preference?

My thoughts took me back to the day I bought my first pair of “gay pants.” Like a kid just coming home with new school supplies, I could not contain my excitement. Guaranteed to cut off circulation at the waste, I saw my fake-suede-polyester pants as my ticket to same-sex relationship success. It was not until my uncle asked me whether or not my new pants had a zipper that ran from the front to the back that I realized the error in my judgment.

Dysfunctional as it may be, the relationship between style and sexuality is a complicated one. And inevitably, discovering its ins and outs leads one directly into the world of stereotypes. Stereotypes are the reversible sports jacket of the fashion world. On the outside, they act as an incredibly useful guide when determining the right person to flirt with. Believe you me, finding Waldo when he is not wearing his classic stripes is not an easy task.

Dysfunctional as it may be, the relationship between style and sexuality is a complicated one.

But unfortunately life is not that red and white, and on the inside the deceptive little social conventions are more often misleading than helpful. I cannot even begin to explain how many metrosexuals I have accidentally fallen in love with. But it’s not their fault modern pop culture shifted the spotlight on sexual ambiguity to them.

So how much does a person’s style indicate their sexual preference? The answer is simply a lot, or not at all. It entirely depends on the individual. Looking around I may have not been the brightest or tightest person in attendance, but by the end of the night it didn’t matter. Because shortly after I stopped thinking I managed to steal some sequins anyways.

Published: Outwords Inc. #146 October 26 – November 27, 2007